Search And Annoy

A friend dropped a line from the classic kiddie tune “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” into a conversation recently. “Who did the original hit of that?” I asked. Despite the tremendous tonnage of pop cultural trivia crammed into our brainpans, both of us drew a blank. Fortunately the Internet was just a smart phone away, and we had the answer in no time.

This methodology represents a remarkable improvement over the multi-step search process of the pre-digital era. Back then, step one consisted of driving yourself crazy for several days as you stubbornly struggled to recall the information on your own. Step two involved annoying your friends and coworkers, who began driving themselves crazy for several days as they stubbornly struggled to recall the information on their own.

Step three included waking up at two in the morning on a Tuesday night, shouting “Rolf Harris!” at the top of your lungs and scaring the hell out of the kids and the cat. You also infuriated your spouse, who was just about to wake up and shout “Rolf Harris!” at the top of her lungs.

Step four meant driving to work like a maniac in a desperate bid to be the first person at the coffee klatch with the answer. Invariably, everybody whose life you had ruined with this nonsense showed up simultaneously, made eye contact, and shouted “Rolf Harris!” at the top of their lungs, scaring the hell out of the guy who restocked the coffee cupboard.

Upon regaining his composure, the coffee service guy would say, “Hey, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport,” right?” Beaming with pride, everyone would nod like a bobble head on the hood of a Dodge Challenger. Process complete.

Then coffee guy would stroke his chin and say, “I loved that when I was a kid. But who did that weird song with the flute and the dude singing about being a long haired leaping gnome?”

Return to step one.